Today had disaster written all over it; the moment I unwrapped a ladies personal hygiene pad and realized the slab of foam in my hand was in fact an incontinence nappy pad. My mad dash around the chemist combined with Miss 2’s forever dissolving attention span translated to random purchase. Our battle of wills; her to be a free spirit and me to hold her down in the shopping cart, with only a flicker of attention to my task as I scuttle down the aisles – throwing food at her, as I go.
I stared at the over-sized protector, wondering if I cut it into quarters; it might just work, especially if I wore my really big Bridget Jones cotton tummy huggers. Then the phone shrilled and interrupted my quandary.
The day got worse; as the voice on the other end advised me I had been unsuccessful in the job, I interviewed for this week. Hanging up, I took a moment to ponder the rejection and the gargantuan personal hygiene wadding in my hand and reckoned it had to be five o’clock somewhere in the world. Deciding Moscow was as good a place to be as any; I switched my time clock to Russia and dusted off the Vodka bottle, from the back of the cupboard whilst contemplating if my legs would hold up to a bout of random Cossack dancing. Deciding not, I tippy toed the bottle back on the shelf and got back to my reality jobless with only a value pack of incontinence pads to console me.
But then it struck me; a new business venture! What if the incontinence pads were re marketed as your long haul travel companion? No more stopping for toilet breaks on the road trips. Stuck in a traffic jam? Who cares!! You can pee yourself safe in the knowledge that the wet patch stays dry. The ideas are rolling and I have not even sniffed the Vodka – Aeroplanes, coach journeys – Or just – Sofa Friday night football……You know, I might just have found my new vocation after all……