I might as well walk down the street naked… I really could not feel any more exposed if I did. Don’t worry you are all safe. I have no intention of stripping off. For one its way too cold and secondly I might live near the ocean now, but as its whale migration season – I don’t think I want to get mistaken for one that’s beached itself.
But I do feel exposed today. You see two hours ago I dropped Miss 2 off for the first time in Kindy. Only two hours in and I feel guilty as hell already. I have been so busy worrying about what she might feel and how she will go without me there for her. It has come as a bit of a shock that I am feeling positively redundant. I am so used to doing everything with her and I mean everything. She is my little safety net. She is my little reason for being. The truth is I probably need her more right now than the other way around.The reality is its time to get on with life with a change of pace and direction. I thought I was ready and I am. I think. But this moment in time, I need to adjust to it being at one and not one and a half in tow.For a few hours a week …. I can jump out of the car without the whole unbuckling and buckling in thing. I can grab my keys and bag and just go. No forward planning for toilet stops, snacks, sleeps and holding off the boredom. I can go for a coffee. I can drink the coffee. My goodness, I might even get to read a book again.And in the middle of all that me time. I can get a job. Oh yeah, I forgot about that bit…….