chicago pokerWhen the cards deal onto the poker table of life – do we get a say in who wins?
Are the choices we think we make already mapped out in some universal connection – or is that a cop out when life does not go our way?
Who or what decides life and your path? Who gets the big shiny Lamborghini or the mud hut in Africa? Who wins? Who loses? Does the woman whose face gets smacked down each time her husband feels the need to control her compare to the child who witnessed his father shot down dead at the petrol station. Or the entrepreneur whose golden touch netted him millions; only to lose it all again when the GFC hit hard. His only crime; he kept on rolling the dice. Why do some float through life without a challenge or a care whilst others take one hit after the other. Whats fair about it ?
Is it one of the same lessons in essence? Why do we need to experience it? Is this all just a big game? If so whose in charge around here – I want a word with you.
Someone once said to me – “If you could do anything, knowing you would succeed what would you choose? There is no failure. There will be no let down. There is no fear. It will be your reality and there is no doubt you will win…”
I had to only think for a moment. The answer flowed as I exhaled it peacefully. It felt so natural to say it out loud; as if I spoke the truth to myself to and for the first time I actually heard it and for just a moment I believed it.
Then I remembered my core belief. Life’s not like that Paula; there are always obstacles for you. Life is always going to be an uphill struggle. There is no easy way for you. You are not picked as a chosen one. You have no special talent. You do not stand out. You are not special enough to get out of the starting blocks, let alone not fear fear
My dream reality deflated, no that’s not true. It was not a gentle let down at all. It banged smashed right out there and then. I replaced the moment of “I can” with ‘I can’t” almost instantaneously. I actually heaved it out with a hard and determined back whack. It is there for the taking. I am sure of it. I can taste it, smell it, feel it.I am just not sure how to convince myself that I am it.